People don’t like Messy…… Right ???
The burden of being you, almost carrying your survival story to yourself, feels heavy, empty, and surrounded by nothingness.
It’s hard for us to accept that we are messed up, you never had the nerve to let someone see what they did to you, how they made you feel helpless and scared like a child, it goes beyond our control to let them see how vulnerable we are in our shells, because the idea of the strength that we know is harsh, it’s cruel and evil.
We as human beings are designed to protect each other’s pride, whenever you have a chance to save someone’s face, do it with all your power, but listen to me this one time, do not scare people off by faking the power you don’t actually hold, know when to ask for help, protect your peace from your own negative thoughts, stop running away, let the hell rain on you, break into a million pieces, embrace it, then one day, get up in the afternoon, when you are just finished listening to a song, you realize you have moved past it – the horrible phase of nothingness had a silver lining after all.
Be messy, and emotionally challenge your mates; if they are not ready to guard you in your chaos, you do not belong to them!
And I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I can’t lie ~
Being in chaos, messed up, you don’t even get to know what you’ve done wrong… You don’t even realize what’s being done to you… You just swing away breaking so many things around you… All you need is to keep yourself calm, and admit whatever the situation is, and make sure, you’ll never surrender, but to win or die winning… That’s where the life happens