Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. (Socrates).
“And at the very end, we do not remember the days, we remember moments”
How many times have you looked ‘death’ in the eyes? How far is your soul? How close are you to reality? Are you alive ~ today? ***Checkmate***
If the context makes little sense to you, count it luck, and if these lines have shivered a line of pain down your spine, then hey friend; this is for you!
Not all of us are living the best of our lives, and not all of us have what we desire, what we deserve. Life has a tedious way of letting us down, even in our primes. When it goes in your favor- cheers, when it goes behind your back- hold your horses. You are gonna lose it anyway, over to the big game of life – fortunately; Death. Slowly and gradually, you will lose it all..!
You have this consideration straight when you are a catastrophic patient with a very special neurologic disorder or any kind of sickness that gets you this close to reality, where you feel every new day is a debt. We are devious little human beings, who don’t even have full control of our pulses, our nervous system can break down in one spike and it will make you extinct for future generations because other than Google who remembers our death? To the people who are living a borrowed life, prepared to lose it at any moment, ready enough to leave this world in the blink of an eye, we are never off the guard. We are the ‘real deal’ because we actually know the ‘value of life’ and the ‘cost of living’.
After having danced ‘Tango with Azrael’ quite enough times, you come to terms with death; slow, painful, horrible DEATH. I beg it to go easy on me because this is not my first time dying, I have been here before, I know your game plan, you never take me with you, you always come, sit with me, terrify me to my very core, and then leave, you leave me alive, you don’t follow the rule, you’re living beyond the law. And when in that short and sweet moment of pain, I am begging God to give me one more chance so I can go back and align my life to deserve a graceful death, He prevails the justice and gives another chance, and the very next day, I am there again begging him to license another day to my life with that throbbing pain in my eyes and the pulsating nerves getting outta my head where I am trying to squeeze it down by pushing it inwards, where I feel like someone is pinning a needle deep in my scalp on the left side of my brain and someone else is pushing a big nail with a heavy hammer on the right side, again and again, and again, repeatedly, every day. That pounding pain of nerves, heartbeat getting out of scale, the eyes getting flashbacks of life, sensory overload of sound, light, and touch accompanied by nausea and vomiting, the burning sensation in my body, breathlessness – losing it to oxygen, surrendering to Azrael. I have come to terms with death, where I am no longer impressed by the achievements of life, every new win makes me think about the upcoming failure, and every laugh would drop its act in the middle because it remembers the next tear dropping down my eye, and if I don’t remember anything else I still remember the pain’ that’s not leaving my memory muscles.
Every new day when healthy people are fighting to get out of bed and shut off their alarms; we are hanging in there; trying to push our eyes open, touching our arms and face, and realizing that we are still alive, accepting the bargain of this new day; we put our armor on, and get ready to fight for it!
Please acknowledge the pain, any pain, every pain, especially the ones that you don’t know anything about. Stop demanding a clinical diagnosis, stop acting like people don’t matter! Our realities are different, much worse than yours but it’s true. It’s hard, ugly, unattractive, and threatening but it’s true. we are there – we little humans who need to fight more than you, to stay alive – WE ARE THE REAL DEAL.
You know what they say: “Life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying”. And that’s what a near-death experience is. If you haven’t seen it yet, I am not talking to you, leave this blog!
