If you’re going through hell – Keep going!’
With good weather in front of me today, it’s raining, my coffee on the table and a book in my hand. I can see myself in the mirror of the window and i can only feel the never-ending despair crawling inside of my head and leashing all the darkness in me floating into the weather – I repulse it; like every other thing in my life; I repulse ease – feeling like you don’t deserve happiness, tranquility, and peace, because it will never come to you, you have never made yourself significant enough to deserve it. You laugh but you don’t actually laugh. You make people smile so they can do it back for you, but nobody cares enough to return the favour? You would cross oceans for them, and they wouldn’t lift a finger for you? Yes; You, how are you able to make it to another day after every day? Are you insane? Why don’t you lose it, once and for all? Why don’t you make it easier for yourself? Why don’t you end the cycle?
Stop it, you Monster!
People who have put you in this miserable situation are happy. They have everything; they have happiness, purpose, and peace. Why peace? why do they have peace, God. I am talking to you, this is the one thing that i want you to seize, I want you to snatch away the peace! Please, do me a favour, add on to their pains and help them get a bad ending.
I don’t want to see you happy and in peace, I wish life could shatter down that false pretty exterior and put you down to your knees where you actually belong, and when you beg to God to spare you another chance to come back and correct the mistake you made, the mistake you chose to make and you are still proud of making. You owe me the explanation to put me in this hell-hole, and you need to come up nowww. Hey you, I want to see you suffering, suffering till the last breath, i want to see you asking for help, i want to see you begging for life, I want to see you in pain – immense pain, shattering pain, where your mind and body are collapsing into one and you have nobody to run to!
I want to see you dying- Alone, In your own filth!
Ever wonder, Why some people are so hard to understand, they make zero sense to you? And you with your little mind cannot even try to figure out? because the eyes does not see what the mind does not know!
