Who are you when it goes south?
You don’t get what you want?
Do you still smile?
Think of me with an open mind, I am not a person, a human, a life, I am an experience, a Goddamn experience that would leave your mind utterly blown. I belong to my kingdom where solitude and silence are the order of the day, where you don’t get what you want because whatever you want is insane, far from normal. I belong to the questions that will never find answers. Existence is my exile, I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them, I am not entirely proud of my fabric, and i am insanely crazy.
I dance with the skeletons in my closet, I have coffee with my demons, I have a name for my pillow, I ride recklessly through the souls, the forces of evil become confused when they reach me, I look things dead in the eye, I drift apart when they start acting like a winner, I do not respect my elders solely based on their age.
I don’t take advantage of your kindness, I am big on my principle, I own my mistake, I would crash my bones to help you pass the bridge, I don’t get furious when I am questioned, I realize the power of my presence, but I don’t know what to do with my powers because I comfort the disturbed, and I disturb the comfortable. I am terribly aware of myself, I sense death every day yet it aches me that I am still alive.
I don’t belong anywhere, I never have, and I am old enough to know I never will. I don’t speak my truth because nobody can tune into my frequency. They see me but they cannot see me. On my good days i feel like a goddess of a garden, and on my worst days i am the queen of hell.
Consider yourself fortunate if you can’t comprehend this, just go get some sleep while you can. And to the ones who know about the fiery inferno within me, tell me what keeps you here? what is it that anchors you here for me? When I am waiting for the drowning to either stop or consume me completely. This would be the last move I make, before I checkmate myself out of the game!
You don’t find me by chance, you are guided to me when you are ready – Use my frequency wisely.
